"Mommy, (So-and-so) said I couldn't play with them at school anymore. She said I had boy socks. I really don't want to wear these socks anymore." I'm sure you've heard something like this before....heck, maybe some of us have even said something like this before. I am having a hard time wrapping my mind around this. After all, my daughter only almost FIVE years old. I know this should not surprise me. I remember some of the love-hate relationships I shared with some of my grade-school friends. I think the reason I'm so surprised (besides the fact that she's in PRE SCHOOL) is that I have talked to Emma so much about what a good friend is and different ways she can be a good friend to others. I want her to be a strong, independent person who doesn't have to rely on her friends to make decisions for her. I do, however, find a lot of value in friendships which are formed along our journey called life.
Since Emma talked to me about this few weeks ago, I've been thinking about the many different relationships I've shared. Throughout our life we become friends with many people. Some of these we are born into, such as a mother, sisters, aunts, or cousins - over which we don't really have much control. Other contacts are relationships we have some sort of control over. You pick your friends based upon unique bonds which are formed from the day you first meet. I am eager and nervous (as you can see from the above paragraph) to see the friendships which Emma and Kaiser will form in years to come.
I feel fortunate to have the best friends in the world. This is rather cliche to say this, for everyone believes they have the greatest friends. I feel fortunate to be so close with my mom and sisters, but also feel blessed to have a similar relationship with a few women I frequently call my 'besties'. I really don't think I could possibly function without some sort of friend-therapy sessions with them on a frequent basis. Then, there are some of my oldest friends. There are times when I see these women only a few times a year, and no matter what, we can always pick up right where we left off and come back together again without missing a beat.
I'm sure it will be easier to deal with the friendships of Kaiser and his guy-friends rather than Emma and her girlfriends. I all-to-vividly remember some of the run-ins I had with people during grade, middle, and high school. I often question why we feel the need to treat others badly. What do we gain from making someone feel crappy about themselves? What did Emma's friend gain by making fun of her socks? I'm quite sure this won't be the last time someone questions the clothes-choice of my children (see below). I just pray they're able to brush themselves off and roll with the punches. I hope Emma will become a strong woman who doesn't form a complex because someone says something mean to her. I have plenty of regrets about the way I handled things from childhood. What I try to think about now is that regrets shouldn't exist. The experience either happened for a reason and it's a good thing, or it happened and was a learning experience. Hopefully I can pass this on to Emma and Kaiser.
One of my current favorite quotes I recently heard on American Idol: "You can pick your friends and you can pick your nose, but you can't wipe your friends on the couch." Well, sometimes I have wanted to do just that. Have you ever wanted to wipe your friends on the couch?
Wow, Emma. Wow.
Amazing outfit choice!